Well I dont know how I started this. Its not a poetry, no. I just wanna tell you about my fuckin' feeling right now. Okay.
Like the other story, everything started by a girl. Im not going to tell her name, but lets call her M for now. Well this M, she's my biggest crush. Its been 2 years for me for liking her. And I think I love her. Yeah I really do.
Everybody in my class have knew that I like this M. Every single person in my whole goddamned class.
And I have a band. We're 5 and one of them, lets call him R, is a little bit fuckin arrogant. Well at first I can accept that because we're friends, plus he's my bandmate. But now, he said that he likes M. And how fucking sad, M likes R too. They went home together, sat in class together, they did every fucking thing together. I think they're dating, but when one of my friend asked them, they answered with no.
But I believe they're dating.
The fact is, R still has a girlfriend. My theory, they're dating, but R told M to not to tell anyone about them. He used the reason that he was sorry for me, because he knew that I love M. And I believe M agreed, and then they shut their goddamned mouth. And I know why he's sorry for me. Because the motherfucking band is nothing without me. He told one of my friend by himself that they cant let me out from the band because they really need me. Im the one who gave the name of the band, the vocalist, and the one who made the songs. So they wont just let me out from the band. Because they know, if Im out from the band, Ill take the name and songs with me.
So R got M by not losing his girlfriend and he saved the band by not losing me. Yes, he got everything. And I have nothing except pain.
Its just my theory, but I believe all of them are fuckin real. The truth, its hurt enough to accept that they like each other, but it hurts more when I figured out that they lied.
I know I could just fight him, even I can stab a goddamned blade to his empty head. But by doing that, it feels like, like Im the one who lose the fight. Its like, Im angry with the fact that he wins M. No, I 've fall down, and I dont wanna show it to him. Ill live my life in front of his fuckin face.
But these truth is killing me. I have a lot of problems at home, and the only place for me to entertain myself is school. But now its the place that gimme the worst problem. Plus Im going to have a big test.
Im in a huge depression. I screamed, wishing death, slitted wrist, everything that a stressed man did. I know all of them are useless and wouldnt change anything, but what can I do? All I can do is just waiting the destiny to change the words of my life...
